Break Ups

Last night the person and I who were dating put an end to our status, ultimately our entire friendship. For the past few months I had been very confused, angry, and depressed; bringing him down with me as well. I heard God telling me what to do, to trust Him, and to be satisfied alone in him first. As the more time went by I ignored his voice and continued to date this guy. Though the guy was so incredibly sweet, matching many of my perfect guy attributes, I was not ready to open my heart. Since I was thirteen I had always settled, but let me give you a definition. Settling can be taken badly, or understood. The reason I say I was settling is because when I first entered the relationship I did so without a Godly conscious. I'm sure many girls have thought "he is cute, funny, nice... why not date him?" That it how the world works; try him out, it wont hurt. I did this, and I believe I ended up hurting him and even part of myself. As the relationship went on the Godliness of it was ruined; I went to parties and my mind was being formed in a different way not honoring to God. As soon as I realized that lifestyle wasn't what I wanted I took a step back to think through and ask God what HE wanted, not what I wanted. Of course I wanted this guy who would do so many things for me, who cared, and who earnestly enjoyed being around me. Even in the middle of all this greatness it was missing something, the Godly encouragement and disipline I need in a man. Years ago as I wrote my "perfect guy list" there were four sections to write about; his looks, his personality, his goals, and his relationship with God. So many of the first, second, and third sections matched up wonderfully but the fourth was somewhat off. I had told myself that I wouldn't enter a relationship unless God was the center of his life so that he may encourage, inspire, and teach me about the word of God. A man who was already at that stage of life where God was his everything, where noting could shake that, and he would see much value and love me because of my Godliness. Well the guy was a christian, changing, and doing so well in his faith, though he wasn't at the stage I needed in a relationship. Not only him, but I was not at the stage I needed in my faith to be in a relationship.
It's the day after, and of course I'm feeling pain. It's never until someone is gone when you realize the memories, conversations, and great times you had. Though breaking up is not something I wanted to do in my heart, it is a sacrifice I made because it is what God wants. It can be so difficult to trust in God, because we can't see or even imagine the future he has planned for us. This was a hard decision to make, but I know God will come through. Staying with a guy when God has something else in mind for my life at this point would be selfish on my behalf. I could only offer to be this guys friend for now, and he chose not to take my friendship. I know in time I can be fully satisfied in the Lord and have an unshakable faith where I can live my whole life for him. I will be wiser, stronger, more trusting, and have a man who is already to the stage of being satisfied alone in God. I do not know who is he, where he is, if I have already met him, or how long this may take... but I know God will bless me in this once I allow him to take over my life fully.
I hope whoever reads this thinks about their life, their relationships with God and their significant other. I hope it encourages and inspires girls and guys to trust in the Lord, don't settle, and be all they can be in the Lord so that God may bless them continuously. I am saddened, but excited for what God has for my life. Never lose hope. Never lose trust. Never lose faith. Never lose love.


"But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and [his interests] are divided. And the woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly, and [to secure] undistracted devotion to the Lord."
1 Corinthians 7:32-35

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven--" ... "A time to search, and a time to give up as lost; a time to keep, and a time to throw away."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-6

"For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope."
Jeremiah 29:11-12