As I write this, my Great Aunt Doris is in Baylor Hospital in Dallas dying. She had a stroke, causing her brain to bleed and giving her brain damage. The doctors said there was nothing else they could do, and they took her off of life support. Now the family is only waiting for news of her passing. It is a difficult time for many, especially my grandparents and other elderly ones who were closer to her. I was wondering in what way I could put my thought into the matter, because when it comes to comforting my family in person, I am terrible.
As I was going about my day I listened to the song "Iris" by the Goo Goo dolls. I really love this song, and the lyrics are very powerful. I chose this verse specifically, so please read.
And all I can taste is this moment,
And all I can breathe is your life,
And sooner or later it's over,
I just don't want to miss you tonight.
Throughout life we have people who we love and care about, sometimes even more than ourselves. All we can feel is what is happening in the moment; we feel life whether is it happiness, sadness, anger, or regret. One of the hardest things to do is to imagine life without someone. People tell us time and time again that "they are better off now, no pain, and with God" though getting through the healing process is still just as painful. We do not want to go to bed missing someone, just as the song says. I was thinking about Jesus' death in the bible today, deciding what I should write about. I am not talking about the reason he died, though that is very very symbolic, but just the fact of death.
"From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"—which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
-Matthew 27:45-46
Jesus was scared of his death I believe. One of the hardest things is to know the future, to accept, and to go on with a happy heart. He knew he was going to die, but he also knew the pain in which was going to happen. How does Jesus' death relate to a normal person's death? Well to me I am relating this because it is hard knowing someone else is passing on, and that they will not be there with us. It is hard to imagine holidays, birthdays, and get togethers with them. Some of us may ask God the very same question Jesus asked, "my god, my god, why have you forsaken me?" Though we may not understand why some events and tragedies happen, they have a purpose. Whether it is to bring people together, open ones heart and mind, or to let others come to Christ through a death or tragedy it may all be possible. Anything is possible with God.
Think about Mary, Jesus' mother. She knew her sons fate, and how hard do you think it would be to know and watch your very son die so terribly? She was a very strong woman, and most important she had faith. Just as she did, so should we. We know God's plan is a much better, much higher plan than we could ever create. Each hurt we endure only makes us stronger, and gives us an opportunity to grow more with God.
This life is so temporary, and we should make the best out of everything and everyone we had. Be blessed and happy with those who you have been able to share your time with, but try not to grieve when they are gone. If they loved Christ, then they are finally at home with God and the angels. What better place is there to be? In no time, just as fast as you grow, you too can be with God and the other believers. Everyone must be born and die, and no matter what day or what time it is in God's plan. Trust in what he has, and rejoice at all times. The good-bye we give on earth is temporary, just as our lives are. We will be reunited with them once more, only with no tears, fears, sadness, or anger. God loves you and is always there with you, so do not ever believe he has forsaken you. His plan is the ultimate one, and he knows what he is doing.
"We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord"
- Corinthians 5:8
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
What do you live for?
How many times have you been in a situation where you just did not feel good enough? Where you thought someone was prettier, smarter, more talented, skinner, or more likable? How many times have you looked at yourself, brought yourself down, or hated who you were? I have. I have looked in the mirror and cried because I was fat, my face was ugly, my arms were too big, and nothing looked good on me. I have cried because a guy chose other girls over me; because it must mean they are better than me. I have cried because I can't live up to some peoples standards; with my education, my goals, and my hobbies. I have cried because I felt alone, like no one was there or even cared. Have you ever felt this way?
Sometimes I even come to the conclusion of "God, there is no purpose for me. I cause turmoil, trouble, heartbreak, and money for others." I believe 'I am not good enough'. I believe that since one guy left me for another girl that 'I was not good enough'. I believe that since I don't wear a size 2 and have that perfect attractive body that 'I am not good enough'. I give into this thought that I do not match up to the worlds standards that I am not good enough to even do everyday type activities. Who came up with the view of perfection anyways? Who is to say that blondes are more beautiful, that if you are curvy that you aren't beautiful, or that if you do not go to college that you will not amount to anything? This world is so wrapped up in itself; looks, money, cars, houses, fame. Who is the world ever had the right to claim that only certain ways or styles were good enough, or accepted?
Let me tell you something, something very valuable. Psalm 189:13 says "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb". Reread this verse and let it sink into your mind. GOD, the center and most powerful being in this entire universe took time and hand made you in the dark, before you were even in your mothers stomach. He had a plan for you, and a good plan that is. He knew what you would look like, what would make you laugh, what would make you cry. He knows every hair on your head, what makes you feel loved, and the man/woman that you were meant to be with. He made you in his own image, his perfect and wonderful image. When you look at yourself and think 'I am not good enough', you are saying that God didn't make you good enough. How can we say this, when someone so powerful and gracious took suc precious time to form ourselves and put so much detail into us. Who knows our hearts, souls, minds, and actions better than God? He made certain people outgoing, atheletic, intelligant, and musical for reasons. Even if you are alone thinking, 'but i have no talents' you do. God desires for you to come to Him, so he can show you His plan for you!
Are you waking up, going to work or school, hanging out with a certain someone, sitting on myspace or facebook, texting, or just living life day by day wondering when someone exciting is going to happen? Are you always waiting for that vacation, that weekend, or that paycheck to come in so you can feel happy or free? Well once those things happen, when you go on your trip or get paid, the next day what do you have to hope for? Are you living life for yourself and your desires? God gave you EYES, so open them so he can show you what he has for you. God gave you EARS, so you can hear all he has to tell you and teach you. God gave you HANDS, to use them to please God and work for Him. God gave you a MOUTH, so you can share the gospel and tell others of Gods word. God gave you FEET, so that you could walk in his footsteps. God gave you a MIND, to use so that you may better understand God and his purpose. God gave you a HEART, so that you can love Him, your brothers and sisters, and even your enemies. God gave you everything you have so that you can be ALL that you can be! When you realize that God has such a grand plan for your future, that my friend is when you will begin to live. It doesn't matter what you have done before, only when you go to God will your true life begin. When you ask God to come into your heart, forgive you of your sins, and develope that relationship with Him.
We all would like to have a true father, friend, husband, wife, or person to go to with anything. When we are alone in our rooms crying out because we hurt, when thet guy left us, when we feel ugly, when we feel hopeless. Cry out to God! He is your father, he is your friend, and he is your lawful wedded one. He is your everything if you just allow him to be!
What I am trying to share is to value yourself. Value yourself with everything that you have, because the Lord of the universe created you in his time, with his hands, and perfectly detailed for a purpose. He knew you before you were in your mothers womb, before you were on earth, or even in the thoughts of your parents. He gave you your looks, your personality, your gifts, and your life for a reason. Don't be sad when a guy doesn't chose you, because that only means that the one who will love you for everything you are is just around the corner. Don't be upset when you didn't make a certain team or group, because that just means God has something better planned for you around the corner. Don't be upset when you feel alone, because God is there by your side, always and forever. Live the life God wants for you, the one he knows is best, the one that will fufill and satisfy your every desire. Be the light when you walk into a room. Have people look at you because you are different. Don't try to fit in when God so desperately wants you to stand out. You are his creation, his love, his hand-crafted work, and his child. Do not forget this, and do not forget what you should be living for! Open your eyes to see, open your ears to hear, and open your mind and heart to God!
However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"
-1 Corinthians 2:9
Sometimes I even come to the conclusion of "God, there is no purpose for me. I cause turmoil, trouble, heartbreak, and money for others." I believe 'I am not good enough'. I believe that since one guy left me for another girl that 'I was not good enough'. I believe that since I don't wear a size 2 and have that perfect attractive body that 'I am not good enough'. I give into this thought that I do not match up to the worlds standards that I am not good enough to even do everyday type activities. Who came up with the view of perfection anyways? Who is to say that blondes are more beautiful, that if you are curvy that you aren't beautiful, or that if you do not go to college that you will not amount to anything? This world is so wrapped up in itself; looks, money, cars, houses, fame. Who is the world ever had the right to claim that only certain ways or styles were good enough, or accepted?
Let me tell you something, something very valuable. Psalm 189:13 says "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb". Reread this verse and let it sink into your mind. GOD, the center and most powerful being in this entire universe took time and hand made you in the dark, before you were even in your mothers stomach. He had a plan for you, and a good plan that is. He knew what you would look like, what would make you laugh, what would make you cry. He knows every hair on your head, what makes you feel loved, and the man/woman that you were meant to be with. He made you in his own image, his perfect and wonderful image. When you look at yourself and think 'I am not good enough', you are saying that God didn't make you good enough. How can we say this, when someone so powerful and gracious took suc precious time to form ourselves and put so much detail into us. Who knows our hearts, souls, minds, and actions better than God? He made certain people outgoing, atheletic, intelligant, and musical for reasons. Even if you are alone thinking, 'but i have no talents' you do. God desires for you to come to Him, so he can show you His plan for you!
Are you waking up, going to work or school, hanging out with a certain someone, sitting on myspace or facebook, texting, or just living life day by day wondering when someone exciting is going to happen? Are you always waiting for that vacation, that weekend, or that paycheck to come in so you can feel happy or free? Well once those things happen, when you go on your trip or get paid, the next day what do you have to hope for? Are you living life for yourself and your desires? God gave you EYES, so open them so he can show you what he has for you. God gave you EARS, so you can hear all he has to tell you and teach you. God gave you HANDS, to use them to please God and work for Him. God gave you a MOUTH, so you can share the gospel and tell others of Gods word. God gave you FEET, so that you could walk in his footsteps. God gave you a MIND, to use so that you may better understand God and his purpose. God gave you a HEART, so that you can love Him, your brothers and sisters, and even your enemies. God gave you everything you have so that you can be ALL that you can be! When you realize that God has such a grand plan for your future, that my friend is when you will begin to live. It doesn't matter what you have done before, only when you go to God will your true life begin. When you ask God to come into your heart, forgive you of your sins, and develope that relationship with Him.
We all would like to have a true father, friend, husband, wife, or person to go to with anything. When we are alone in our rooms crying out because we hurt, when thet guy left us, when we feel ugly, when we feel hopeless. Cry out to God! He is your father, he is your friend, and he is your lawful wedded one. He is your everything if you just allow him to be!
What I am trying to share is to value yourself. Value yourself with everything that you have, because the Lord of the universe created you in his time, with his hands, and perfectly detailed for a purpose. He knew you before you were in your mothers womb, before you were on earth, or even in the thoughts of your parents. He gave you your looks, your personality, your gifts, and your life for a reason. Don't be sad when a guy doesn't chose you, because that only means that the one who will love you for everything you are is just around the corner. Don't be upset when you didn't make a certain team or group, because that just means God has something better planned for you around the corner. Don't be upset when you feel alone, because God is there by your side, always and forever. Live the life God wants for you, the one he knows is best, the one that will fufill and satisfy your every desire. Be the light when you walk into a room. Have people look at you because you are different. Don't try to fit in when God so desperately wants you to stand out. You are his creation, his love, his hand-crafted work, and his child. Do not forget this, and do not forget what you should be living for! Open your eyes to see, open your ears to hear, and open your mind and heart to God!
However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"
-1 Corinthians 2:9
Monday, September 7, 2009
Break Ups
Last night the person and I who were dating put an end to our status, ultimately our entire friendship. For the past few months I had been very confused, angry, and depressed; bringing him down with me as well. I heard God telling me what to do, to trust Him, and to be satisfied alone in him first. As the more time went by I ignored his voice and continued to date this guy. Though the guy was so incredibly sweet, matching many of my perfect guy attributes, I was not ready to open my heart. Since I was thirteen I had always settled, but let me give you a definition. Settling can be taken badly, or understood. The reason I say I was settling is because when I first entered the relationship I did so without a Godly conscious. I'm sure many girls have thought "he is cute, funny, nice... why not date him?" That it how the world works; try him out, it wont hurt. I did this, and I believe I ended up hurting him and even part of myself. As the relationship went on the Godliness of it was ruined; I went to parties and my mind was being formed in a different way not honoring to God. As soon as I realized that lifestyle wasn't what I wanted I took a step back to think through and ask God what HE wanted, not what I wanted. Of course I wanted this guy who would do so many things for me, who cared, and who earnestly enjoyed being around me. Even in the middle of all this greatness it was missing something, the Godly encouragement and disipline I need in a man. Years ago as I wrote my "perfect guy list" there were four sections to write about; his looks, his personality, his goals, and his relationship with God. So many of the first, second, and third sections matched up wonderfully but the fourth was somewhat off. I had told myself that I wouldn't enter a relationship unless God was the center of his life so that he may encourage, inspire, and teach me about the word of God. A man who was already at that stage of life where God was his everything, where noting could shake that, and he would see much value and love me because of my Godliness. Well the guy was a christian, changing, and doing so well in his faith, though he wasn't at the stage I needed in a relationship. Not only him, but I was not at the stage I needed in my faith to be in a relationship.
It's the day after, and of course I'm feeling pain. It's never until someone is gone when you realize the memories, conversations, and great times you had. Though breaking up is not something I wanted to do in my heart, it is a sacrifice I made because it is what God wants. It can be so difficult to trust in God, because we can't see or even imagine the future he has planned for us. This was a hard decision to make, but I know God will come through. Staying with a guy when God has something else in mind for my life at this point would be selfish on my behalf. I could only offer to be this guys friend for now, and he chose not to take my friendship. I know in time I can be fully satisfied in the Lord and have an unshakable faith where I can live my whole life for him. I will be wiser, stronger, more trusting, and have a man who is already to the stage of being satisfied alone in God. I do not know who is he, where he is, if I have already met him, or how long this may take... but I know God will bless me in this once I allow him to take over my life fully.
I hope whoever reads this thinks about their life, their relationships with God and their significant other. I hope it encourages and inspires girls and guys to trust in the Lord, don't settle, and be all they can be in the Lord so that God may bless them continuously. I am saddened, but excited for what God has for my life. Never lose hope. Never lose trust. Never lose faith. Never lose love.
"But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and [his interests] are divided. And the woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly, and [to secure] undistracted devotion to the Lord."
1 Corinthians 7:32-35
"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven--" ... "A time to search, and a time to give up as lost; a time to keep, and a time to throw away."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-6
"For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope."
Jeremiah 29:11-12
It's the day after, and of course I'm feeling pain. It's never until someone is gone when you realize the memories, conversations, and great times you had. Though breaking up is not something I wanted to do in my heart, it is a sacrifice I made because it is what God wants. It can be so difficult to trust in God, because we can't see or even imagine the future he has planned for us. This was a hard decision to make, but I know God will come through. Staying with a guy when God has something else in mind for my life at this point would be selfish on my behalf. I could only offer to be this guys friend for now, and he chose not to take my friendship. I know in time I can be fully satisfied in the Lord and have an unshakable faith where I can live my whole life for him. I will be wiser, stronger, more trusting, and have a man who is already to the stage of being satisfied alone in God. I do not know who is he, where he is, if I have already met him, or how long this may take... but I know God will bless me in this once I allow him to take over my life fully.
I hope whoever reads this thinks about their life, their relationships with God and their significant other. I hope it encourages and inspires girls and guys to trust in the Lord, don't settle, and be all they can be in the Lord so that God may bless them continuously. I am saddened, but excited for what God has for my life. Never lose hope. Never lose trust. Never lose faith. Never lose love.
"But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and [his interests] are divided. And the woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly, and [to secure] undistracted devotion to the Lord."
1 Corinthians 7:32-35
"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven--" ... "A time to search, and a time to give up as lost; a time to keep, and a time to throw away."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-6
"For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope."
Jeremiah 29:11-12
Friday, September 4, 2009
Love Languages
27% Words of Affirmation
30% Quality Time
20% Receiving Gifts
20% Acts of Service
3% Physical Touch
Your highest score indicates your primary love language. Your second highest score indicates your secondary love language. If two scores are identical, you are bi-lingual(you have two Primary love languages). If the scores of your primary language and your secondary language are close(for example, 10 and 9 respectively), it indicates both are important to you. The highest possible score for any one love language is 12.
Having a clear picture of your primary and secondary love languages will explain much of your past behavior. Think back over the past and ask yourself, "What have I most often requested of my spouse?" Chances are your answer will lie within the scope of your primary and secondary love languages. You have been requesting that which would meet your deepest need for emotional love. Your requests, however, might have come across as nagging or criticizing and thus drove your spouse away.
Up above would be my love languages, as you see, I desire quality time and words of affirmation. When someone spends time with me I feel loved, as well as when I am complimented or praised. Each individual has a primary love language that is vital to fill when in a marriage, friendship, family, or even in work areas. When you understand how a person feels loved then you can open up on deeper levels, not argue, and feel joyful once again. This is why it is important to know, understand, and strive to meet others' love languages.
I spent over three years in a relationship where after the "passion" died down, we did not meet each others love needs. His was words of affirmation while mine was quality time. It was so hard to compliment or encourage when I did not feel that I was getting what I needed. Very rarely did it cross my mind that "maybe I should figure out why he is responding this way now." Any man of course will respond in a negative or ignoring matter if a woman is nagging, correcting, and criticizing! The further we did not strive to meet each others love language the further we fell out of what we had.
You can care very very deeply for someone, yet treat them badly. It is not right, and people should do not this, but I encourage you to go out and find love languages. In your best friends, your boyfriend, your spouse, your co-workers; then you can better so many relationships and see a new side of relationship growth. Living a life of love is a wonderful thing, a God intended thing, and not something you want to miss out on. God is love, and if you know God, then you know love. This does not mean you have to fall in love, but show love towards others like Christ has done for us.
***If you have a question on trying to find your love language, figuring out someone else's, or anything then fill free to ask! I'd be more than happy to help.
30% Quality Time
20% Receiving Gifts
20% Acts of Service
3% Physical Touch
Your highest score indicates your primary love language. Your second highest score indicates your secondary love language. If two scores are identical, you are bi-lingual(you have two Primary love languages). If the scores of your primary language and your secondary language are close(for example, 10 and 9 respectively), it indicates both are important to you. The highest possible score for any one love language is 12.
Having a clear picture of your primary and secondary love languages will explain much of your past behavior. Think back over the past and ask yourself, "What have I most often requested of my spouse?" Chances are your answer will lie within the scope of your primary and secondary love languages. You have been requesting that which would meet your deepest need for emotional love. Your requests, however, might have come across as nagging or criticizing and thus drove your spouse away.
Up above would be my love languages, as you see, I desire quality time and words of affirmation. When someone spends time with me I feel loved, as well as when I am complimented or praised. Each individual has a primary love language that is vital to fill when in a marriage, friendship, family, or even in work areas. When you understand how a person feels loved then you can open up on deeper levels, not argue, and feel joyful once again. This is why it is important to know, understand, and strive to meet others' love languages.
I spent over three years in a relationship where after the "passion" died down, we did not meet each others love needs. His was words of affirmation while mine was quality time. It was so hard to compliment or encourage when I did not feel that I was getting what I needed. Very rarely did it cross my mind that "maybe I should figure out why he is responding this way now." Any man of course will respond in a negative or ignoring matter if a woman is nagging, correcting, and criticizing! The further we did not strive to meet each others love language the further we fell out of what we had.
You can care very very deeply for someone, yet treat them badly. It is not right, and people should do not this, but I encourage you to go out and find love languages. In your best friends, your boyfriend, your spouse, your co-workers; then you can better so many relationships and see a new side of relationship growth. Living a life of love is a wonderful thing, a God intended thing, and not something you want to miss out on. God is love, and if you know God, then you know love. This does not mean you have to fall in love, but show love towards others like Christ has done for us.
***If you have a question on trying to find your love language, figuring out someone else's, or anything then fill free to ask! I'd be more than happy to help.
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